Tuesday, March 20, 2007
You've met a woman who seems like a dream: she's funny, intelligent, beautiful, loves watching basketball more than anything else, and you and her mesh in all the right ways. The catch? It's plain to see that she's attractive and always impeccably put together, only it has taken time and effort to discover that she shares the same sense of humor as you, has her PhD, and thinks Kobe Bryant rocks.
That's right: you've landed yourself a shy girl. Not that there's anything wrong with that of course; you'd take a timid tigress over a howling hyena any day.
Now that you've already gone on dates number four and five, and are pretty sure you like this one, how do you help her break out of her shell and open up a tad? It certainly is possible, but remember that you're not trying to change anyone -- just attempting to let the wild animal that lives somewhere inside of her loose.
her royal coyness
Let's get right to this woman's shyness, as it will determine which method you'll use. Is she secretive when it comes to her personal life? Is she always quiet when you're out together? Is she only reserved and closed off when she's around others, especially people she doesn't know? Does she solely tense up when the two of you are in bed, or at least trying to get under the covers?
Establish what makes your girlfriend so shy and what triggers her timid behavior. She could just be the type to open up gradually as she gets to know a person, or she may have been the one to stand in the corner since grade school.
A warm Friendship ecard to assure your best friend/ pal/ friend/ loved one that you'll always be there for him/ her.
Send this eCard !
Whatever kind of coy girl she is, there are different ways you can help break her out of her shell.
pry her open
Take baby steps
A great way to encourage someone to warm up is to gradually become closer. Don't expect her to open up to you right away; it may take her some time to feel comfortable enough to converse with your friends and family, and even you. She will eventually feel at home with you if you proceed with patience and care.
Reassure her
Even though she's shy, you have surely gotten glimpses of her personality. If you can see that she has a great sense of humor after cracking a funny (and unexpected) joke, tell her how funny she is. And if you catch her talking to your brother after having met him, reassure her by saying how much you love that she's so personable. Positive reinforcement will always work in your favor, and will bring her closer to that edge of comfort.
Make gradual introductions
If she's comfortable with you but clams up as soon as you throw her into a new crowd of people, start by introducing her to a minimal amount of friends at a time. Going out with a new social circle can be intimidating for even the most confident person, so before bringing her along to your buddy Joe's birthday bash, make sure that she has met at least one or two of your friends so that she'll feel more at ease. And don't be frustrated if she doesn't want to accompany you, especially if you've been dating for less than a month.
Listen to her
The ability to listen is a great tool, and in case you're wondering, no, it's not the same thing as hearing . If you're out on a date and getting your lady to open up is like pulling teeth, ask her about her interests and things you know she's passionate about. She might just need that little push to get going, and if talking about her passion for photography is what does the trick, just make sure you're all ears.
Let's Get Stimulated...
Invite your friend/ loved one to have a steaming cuppa with you.
Send this eCard !
By being an attentive listener, it'll encourage her to open up and chat away, and she'll gain your trust. And if you prove that you're listening, getting her to be quiet might become your next problem.
If you do take her out with your group of friends, whether it's a party or a double date, bring up a topic you know will get her to talk, such as her trip to Asia or her love for Indian cuisine. Feeding her the topics will encourage her to converse amongst a crowd of people.
Offer her a drink
I'm not suggesting that you get her drunk, but perhaps a simple glass of wine (with her consent) will help her lose her social inhibitions and loosen up a bit. Now you don't want her getting up on a restaurant table simulating a striptease, but taking initiative to talk to people or telling a few great jokes can never hurt.
Tell her your fears
Sharing your personal fears with her is a great way to gain her trust. At least she'll see that she's not the only one who's vulnerable in some way. Even if you're embarrassed about your fear of being naked in public or spiders, tell her; she'll probably thank you for it.
Never be forceful
If you ever pressure her to do something she doesn't feel comfortable doing, such as going to your corporate Christmas party or getting more sexually intimate, she won't be shy to say goodbye. Forcing her to do anything or putting her in an awkward situation is rude and will be enough to ruin whatever effort you have already put in with her.
courtesy:http://www.askmen.com/dating/heidi/58b_dating_girl.html
That's right: you've landed yourself a shy girl. Not that there's anything wrong with that of course; you'd take a timid tigress over a howling hyena any day.
Now that you've already gone on dates number four and five, and are pretty sure you like this one, how do you help her break out of her shell and open up a tad? It certainly is possible, but remember that you're not trying to change anyone -- just attempting to let the wild animal that lives somewhere inside of her loose.
her royal coyness
Let's get right to this woman's shyness, as it will determine which method you'll use. Is she secretive when it comes to her personal life? Is she always quiet when you're out together? Is she only reserved and closed off when she's around others, especially people she doesn't know? Does she solely tense up when the two of you are in bed, or at least trying to get under the covers?
Establish what makes your girlfriend so shy and what triggers her timid behavior. She could just be the type to open up gradually as she gets to know a person, or she may have been the one to stand in the corner since grade school.
A warm Friendship ecard to assure your best friend/ pal/ friend/ loved one that you'll always be there for him/ her.
Send this eCard !
Whatever kind of coy girl she is, there are different ways you can help break her out of her shell.
pry her open
Take baby steps
A great way to encourage someone to warm up is to gradually become closer. Don't expect her to open up to you right away; it may take her some time to feel comfortable enough to converse with your friends and family, and even you. She will eventually feel at home with you if you proceed with patience and care.
Reassure her
Even though she's shy, you have surely gotten glimpses of her personality. If you can see that she has a great sense of humor after cracking a funny (and unexpected) joke, tell her how funny she is. And if you catch her talking to your brother after having met him, reassure her by saying how much you love that she's so personable. Positive reinforcement will always work in your favor, and will bring her closer to that edge of comfort.
Make gradual introductions
If she's comfortable with you but clams up as soon as you throw her into a new crowd of people, start by introducing her to a minimal amount of friends at a time. Going out with a new social circle can be intimidating for even the most confident person, so before bringing her along to your buddy Joe's birthday bash, make sure that she has met at least one or two of your friends so that she'll feel more at ease. And don't be frustrated if she doesn't want to accompany you, especially if you've been dating for less than a month.
Listen to her
The ability to listen is a great tool, and in case you're wondering, no, it's not the same thing as hearing . If you're out on a date and getting your lady to open up is like pulling teeth, ask her about her interests and things you know she's passionate about. She might just need that little push to get going, and if talking about her passion for photography is what does the trick, just make sure you're all ears.
Let's Get Stimulated...
Invite your friend/ loved one to have a steaming cuppa with you.
Send this eCard !
By being an attentive listener, it'll encourage her to open up and chat away, and she'll gain your trust. And if you prove that you're listening, getting her to be quiet might become your next problem.
If you do take her out with your group of friends, whether it's a party or a double date, bring up a topic you know will get her to talk, such as her trip to Asia or her love for Indian cuisine. Feeding her the topics will encourage her to converse amongst a crowd of people.
Offer her a drink
I'm not suggesting that you get her drunk, but perhaps a simple glass of wine (with her consent) will help her lose her social inhibitions and loosen up a bit. Now you don't want her getting up on a restaurant table simulating a striptease, but taking initiative to talk to people or telling a few great jokes can never hurt.
Tell her your fears
Sharing your personal fears with her is a great way to gain her trust. At least she'll see that she's not the only one who's vulnerable in some way. Even if you're embarrassed about your fear of being naked in public or spiders, tell her; she'll probably thank you for it.
Never be forceful
If you ever pressure her to do something she doesn't feel comfortable doing, such as going to your corporate Christmas party or getting more sexually intimate, she won't be shy to say goodbye. Forcing her to do anything or putting her in an awkward situation is rude and will be enough to ruin whatever effort you have already put in with her.
courtesy:http://www.askmen.com/dating/heidi/58b_dating_girl.html
