*You're like my asthma, you take my breath away. Like dandruff; I can't get you off my head. Like my car, you drive me crazy. Like dentures, I can't smile without you.
*You think I'm nice, I think you're nice. You think I'm kind, I think you're kind. You think I can be trusted, I think you can. You think I'm cute, and I think you're right.
*You can buy gifts but not love. You can pretend smile but not happiness. You can lie to others but not to yourself. You can have another friend but not as cute as I am!
*Everything about you is perfect - your lips, your skin, your eyes, your body. Perfect! You're lucky to be born beautiful, not like me, who was born to be a big liar.
*Any man who can text while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the text the attention it deserves.
*A kiss can be a comma, a question mark, a colon, or an exclamation point... So don't dare to kiss me coz I might get crazy,?:!
*This message was sent exclusively for the handsome and the beautiful. We have obviously sent it to the wrong number. We are truly sorry for the inconvenience.
*Each of us has his own fear but sooner or later we must face it. It takes a lot of guts to overcome it. So don't be afraid to face your fear. Go ahead, take a bath. Good a.m.
*The smell of a woman should stay with you. The smell of a man should come to you as you go to him and leave you with only a memory, not a headache.
*A husband coming home from a confession and lifts his wife and carries her on his shoulder. Wife: Did the priest tell you to be so romantic like this? Husband: No, he told me to carry my cross.
*Money will buy a bed but not sleep, food but not appetite, amusement but not happiness. You see, money is not everything. Therefore, if you have too much, please send it to me ASAP!
*I'm afraid to die not because it will hurt or I don't know what will happen, but because I might be waiting for you in Heaven and be disappointed.
*Everyone, except me, wants to become a millionaire. I want to become a billionaire.
*I know you've got plenty of friends. Some are old, some are new. Some are false, some are true. I may not be your perfect friend, but one thing I will always be - the cutest you've got.
*Yesterday is history.... Tomorrow is a mystery.... Today is a gift.... That's why its called the present!
*What's the difference between pleasure and torture? Pleasure is thinking of you and torture is thinking of you too much.
*I'm so sorry for not telling you this before. You ought to know how smart, cute, witty, sweet, charming, alluring and wonderful you are!... I didn't know I've influenced you that much!
*Others say life is unfair. Well, it's true. Others are jealous of you. And they really should be. Wanna know why? Hmmm… coz you have a cute text mate like me.
*Playboy, speaking to a girl: "I want you to know that I value our relationship very much. In fact, I find you as my most favorite girlfriend."
*Newsflash: Police are looking for a suspect who's smart, sexy, witty and very gorgeous. They've already eliminated you from the list of suspects. Where do you think I should hide?
*If I were to make a dictionary: CUTE=you; SWEET=you; THOUGHTFUL=you; GOOD LOOKING=you; GORGEOUS=you; LIAR=me!
*When somebody who's deeply in love with you tells you that you're cute, beautiful, and angelic, I agree. That's true, believe me, I swear. Cause love is blind!
*Those innocent eyes... Those kissable lips... A great smile... The perfect walk... Smoothest talk... Absolutely gorgeous.. That's enough bout me. How about you?
*It takes patience to keep a nagging wife; fortune to keep an ambitious wife; four eyes to keep a pretty wife.
*Dear fellow texters, Due to Globeline problems, we are experiencing delayed messages. This is why as early as now I would like to greet you a Merry Christmas.
*When he was five years old, he wanted to become a lawyer. Now that he is a lawyer, he acts like a five-years old.
*There are now three ways of describing a glass with water half of its volume. It is either half-full, half-empty or half-safe to drink.
*He loves his girlfriend more when she is not around.
*The only person who can make her smile is a dentist.
*When you feel that nobody loves you, that nobody cares, when all you can do is cry and walk away because everyone is against you, then you are the weakest link. Goodbye!